Should I or Shouldn’t I Just End this Blog?

I am wondering what purpose this blog serves if I cannot keep updating it at a decent rate. Previous attempts had failed due to hacks and whatever other failures came about and all of those posts are now lost, or probably on webarchive somewhere. But seriously, who cares. There are so many blogs out there, what does this serve except to be some sort of public journal of my thoughts… why would anyone care about that? Except, maybe, future employers googling me.

So after all the previous posts of advice and thoughts about life, here I am navel-gazing and wondering if it’s worth it at all. Maybe it should be, for me at least… to look back and remind myself of my own life lessons and things I think about. Maybe I’ll look back and disagree with my previous self. To see what I was and where I am now and marvel at the journey I’ve been on.

Maybe my kids will read this and be inspired, moved, or hopefully take the life advice and make their lives better. I really hope for this one. To see who their father was and what he thought and learn from his mistakes.

Memories fade, but here’s a blog post in black and white. Life is such a curious thing. So multi-faceted. So many things to take into account. The what’s and the how’s of day-to-day life morphing into the why’s and wherefore’s of our entire existence.

Maybe what this blog is for is for all the rambling… so your thoughts are cast out of your head and you can see them for what they are and make sense of them.

So… after all that, maybe I’ll keep this blog. It seems useful if I take this particular example into account. I did not mean to post anything and yet here we are. Life is such a curious thing.

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The Rocky Road to Better

There’s something to be said about the way we live our lives and the varying strategies we each employ in order to survive and thrive in our respective physical, social and spiritual ecosystems.

We could just float and let life take us where it may but that can only happen to an extent. There has to be an impetus, an exercise of will, at some point or the only way we’ll be headed is down. Personally, I want to become better… in every aspect. Not perfect, but I do want to see an incremental positive change in my behaviour and my effect on others.

But, even though I maintain a positive attitude and fig my heels in to move myself forward. I stumble, I stop, I make a ton of mistakes, I fall backward… and it’s disheartening. But now, looking back at the times that happened, I realise all the setbacks were there to make me strengthen my resolve and I possibly wouldn’t have gotten to where I am right now without the stumbles and falls. They’re a significant part of the journey.

If I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t take away the rain ‘cos I know it’s made me who I am.

Faith Evans
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Thoughts On Living With Two Kids

I don’t know where to begin with this.  The last 3 months have been a whirlwind with  a newborn in the house. I thought I kinda had all this baby stuff down since we already have a 1.5 year old and have been through this already.  Damn, man. I love them to bits, but I swear sometimes I want to throw ’em out of the window.

I won’t, obviously, I’m trying to express the frustration here.  Digestion and wind issues, reflux, being uncomfortable, needing to be rocked and held, waking up every hour or two, not stopping and us being perplexed as to why… It’s a trip.  One thing’s for sure, we need help. Any help.  Nothing can get done if it’s only two of us dealing with human beings who are totally dependent on us for everything.

My wife handles most of it, I help, but… damn, women are something else. Mom’s especially.  It’s only when you see it up close and personal that it hits you at how amazing and selfless they are. The lack of sleep, the feeding, all the while planning, cooking, playing, teaching.  Not to mention how much they give up of their time and their own interests to raise kids and maintain a home.  I don’t think one can ever really repay them and they deserve all of the praise and deference due to them. (Thank you Mum!)

Notwithstanding the challenges, just seeing them grow up and learn new things, being absolutely curious, not giving up, emotional upheavals because they have really big feelings they can’t explain.  It’s so great. The three month old, when he’s checking out the place and who’s in front of him always smiles, melts your heart.  It’s so amazing watching them grow from tiny little things not being able to do anything and suddenly they’re running around the house asking you to sit and read a book to them.

The little man dropping a smile.

I’m sure there’s a lot more running through my head about this that I can talk about, but I had to get these down.

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