Why Am I Here? Why Am I Me?

It’s 3am and I’m alone. Billions of stars in the sky, blank desert horizon in every direction. It’s cold, really cold.  Starting the fire takes me a half hour and the effort barely sustains me with enough heat before the fire starts.

After sitting for an hour with random thoughts, my mind starts to settle.  I was here to find answers and so I might as well start with the obvious.  Why am I here?  I mean, how can you expect yourself to get anywhere if you don’t know where you’re going, right? or at least figure out why you’re even on the road.

How do you get to answers, though? are they in books? are they in you? I’d imagine both – knowing what’s outside and what’s inside. Knowledge of the world and knowledge of self.

The desert has a way of blocking out everything except you.

And then, a new thought occurs to me… Why am I, me? Me in particular. Sitting in this spot, thinking this exact thought.  I don’t have anyone else’s experience but my own. This self-reflection has me stuck right here in the present, exercising my will to move , to act, to do anything I want.  But what is that exactly? What do I want to do? What should I do?

I’ll be grappling with this for a lifetime, but for now, let’s at least answer it generically. You’re here for a reason, and you’re you for a reason. Only you can be you and, well, you’re already here, so you may as well keep asking the question why until the answer comes to you or is answered for you personally.  After all, you are going to have to live with the answer.

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