Why Am I Here? Why Am I Me?

It’s 3am and I’m alone. Billions of stars in the sky, blank desert horizon in every direction. It’s cold, really cold.  Starting the fire takes me a half hour and the effort barely sustains me with enough heat before the fire starts.

After sitting for an hour with random thoughts, my mind starts to settle.  I was here to find answers and so I might as well start with the obvious.  Why am I here?  I mean, how can you expect yourself to get anywhere if you don’t know where you’re going, right? or at least figure out why you’re even on the road.

How do you get to answers, though? are they in books? are they in you? I’d imagine both – knowing what’s outside and what’s inside. Knowledge of the world and knowledge of self.

The desert has a way of blocking out everything except you.

And then, a new thought occurs to me… Why am I, me? Me in particular. Sitting in this spot, thinking this exact thought.  I don’t have anyone else’s experience but my own. This self-reflection has me stuck right here in the present, exercising my will to move , to act, to do anything I want.  But what is that exactly? What do I want to do? What should I do?

I’ll be grappling with this for a lifetime, but for now, let’s at least answer it generically. You’re here for a reason, and you’re you for a reason. Only you can be you and, well, you’re already here, so you may as well keep asking the question why until the answer comes to you or is answered for you personally.  After all, you are going to have to live with the answer.

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Focusing Somewhere Between Ideas and Events.

 

Drama. Everywhere.  You know where it starts and ends?  With people.

People discussing other people, judging other people, comparing themselves to other people, etc. etc.

I’m sure you must’ve come across this quote…

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s been doing the rounds so much it’s become a cliché and, ironically, the quote itself is about people.  Anyway, it’s not just about “great minds”,  it’s about living a life that’s yours alone and free of worry. People are the root of the problem, or more specifically, your obsession and focus on other people.

Leave other people alone.

Focus on yourself.

Everything you will face in life will have less meaning and be far more difficult to overcome without knowledge of self, first and foremost.

Getting knowledge of self is the hard part. It involves self-reflection, understanding everything about yourself from the small things like your favourite colour and favourite food, to what you believe about why you are alive and what your purpose is on Earth. Why are you here? Why were you born?  You need to sit down alone, ask yourself these questions and answer them for yourself and be convinced by it.  This won’t be sorted out in a single sitting, it will take time… but in order to get the rest of your life sorted out you have to do it.

Next, you need to get into reading, watching and listening everything that will help you answer the questions you need to.   This is where we tie in the title…  Your life is made up of events and, more importantly, your reaction to events. Pay attention to the things that happen to you and around you… how are you reacting to them? why are you reacting in that way? Is it the right way to react (is it better for you in the long-term)? Start a Journal. Write this stuff down. Re-read it later.

Finally, ideas. This is the goldmine. The bigger the better. But, keep the focus on yourself, what’s important for you to understand and answer.  Philosophy, Religion, etc.  may seem boring in the face of TV series and endless memes. But go after everything be ruthless asking yourself the bigger questions, seeing what questions were asked and explored before you…

Why should you do this, exactly? What will you get out of it?  First, you will know yourself in such a way that no event, or person can affect your state of being. You will be able to stand on your own, hold yourself to a higher standard. Second, you’ll start to see reality for what it is rather than what you’d like it to be. You will start to understand how things really work underneath it all.  How the world runs, with you in it… and how you can really affect change, for yourself, within your circle of influence and the world.

Little by little, piece by piece, one step at a time.

Start now.

Just a final note: Once you start this journey, it doesn’t end… but you wouldn’t want it to. I guarantee it.

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