I got this on e-mail and found it Hilarious!
Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window
Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch
Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted
Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge . He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it
until it begs for mercy.
The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at
parity with the euro.
Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.
The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve
the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also
rises.
Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.
Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris “The Maestro.”
Chuck Norris has already banked his dividend payment from Northern
Rock Plc.
Chuck Norris doesn’t borrow at the Fed’s discount window. Chuck
Norris LENDS at the Fed’s discount window.
There is no market regulator. Just a list of securities Chuck
Norris allows to be traded.
Chuck Norris doesn’t buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold
buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.
Chuck Norris charges the Bank of England a penalty rate for
borrowing. And guarantees its deposits.
Chuck Norris gets ALL of his funding from the asset-backed
commercial paper market.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mark-to-market. The market marks to Chuck
Norris.
When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When
Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.
Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal
Chuck Norris isn’t a market maker; he IS the market.
Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade
at 100 percent of face value.
Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.