Ramadan in the UK

made the above picture wayyy past my bedtime after Taraweeh prayer

Ramadan in the UK is a bit… different.

After years of idiosyncratic Ramadaan and Eid behaviour being drummed into me with the ritual eventually melding into the deeper meaning of how what we do affects who we are and how it will make who we are even better. South Africa was great with the community around me, it gives one an awesome sense of belonging.

In the UK, specifically here in Epsom, there’s a community as well, albeit a younger, less developed one. So, in essence, it can be a little lonely. Not so many friends… some family is here, but with London’s Transport Network – specifically the Road Network – Traffic is 10 X worse than Johannesburg, just to give you an idea, it’s a bit hard. The Public Transport ROCKS! I mean really… trains, busses and the tube are brilliant… but there are costs involved (temporal and monetary), and it does take its toll… makes you think twice before thinking of going anywhere.

It is a very different experience. It takes Ramadaan and puts a magnifying glass on the experience and focuses it. Ramadaan generally makes you forget the outer world and focus on the inner world inside yourself. Being without the general comfort of the family and friends you’ve come to love and trust at a time like Ramadaan takes the whole inner world thing to another level. You start feeling and thinking things about yourself that wouldn’t happen in any other circumstance.

I believe nothing happens without a reason, and so I must be here for a reason. In this situation, in this place. Yet another journey of self-discovery, and from this experience I’m also beginning to realise the truth in the saying that the Final Frontier won’t be space (What’s out there) but it’s going to be Mind & Soul (What’s in here).

Maybe my answer isn’t out there, it’s in me… and now I’m wondering if I’m asking the right questions.

Technorati Tags: Ramadan, Ramadaan, UK, London, Islam, South Africa, Family, Friends

Death Around the Corner: A Short Story

My neighbour’s on her deathbed.  It’s a cancer, which has spread to liver.  The doctors say there’s nothing they can do except wait for the inevitable.  She’s been to chemo twice but it severely affected her quality of life and the doctor’s can’t guarantee any results… so her family has decided to take her off it and bring her home.  Where she can be surrounded by love and a familiar place with familiar faces.

I was there last night after noticing the large amount of cars and activity around our 3 Flat simplex.  It was going on all day but I only asked her son-in-law last night what her condition was like.  I regret asking that question so late.  What was I waiting for?  It was so obvious and I was blindsided with my focus only on myself and my life.

I should have been more thoughtful. More aware.  I could have offered so much more help.  Especially with the crowds of guests coming in and out of the house.  It must be a logistical nightmare catering for all those people and staying by her side.  I mean her kids have to go through the pain of watching their mother in this state and cater food and drink, provide seating, etc. ??  It’s just not right if I don’t help.  It’s probably the worst sin to ignore this situation in this context.

So I knocked on their door last night and their son-in-law, Muhammad, told me that she’s taken a turn for the worse.  The room was full of people sitting in prayer on chairs against the walls, cynically, I noticed the array of Islamic headgear.  A weird thing to notice but I must have been subconsciously denying the situation in some way.  As I walked back to my place to call my wife as well, it dawned on me what was happening.  This lady, my neighbour, was the sweetest and most loving woman I had met and I mean this because I have only ever saw her caring for other’s welfare, including my own when I first came to stay here.

As my wife and I walk through to the bedroom from which we can hear the hum of prayer coming through and as we open the door we se ethe room packed with relatives.  My neighbour, the sweet old lady, Zuleikha, is lying on the bed surrounded by her daughters who are in tears.  Her husband, son and the rest of the family sitting against the wall.

Her eyes were closed, almost completely sunken and surrounded by dark rings and ashen skin.  She was deathly thin, her body had refused to take anything in and she was on a drip.  She was lying still and her two daughters, one rubbing her chest and the other holding her hand and keeping her head next to hers.  Her husband holding her hand and talking to her. The only movement I’d seen of her was her lips move ever so slightly to whisper something in her husband’s ear.  All the while the hum of prayer continues around the room and I can’t stop myself from praying as well… for her suffering to ease and for her to attain her ultimate goal.

The sight shakes me to the core and makes me regret even more why I had not acted earlier, and the actions of the last few hours haunt me as well… watching a movie, contemplating watching an episode of Prison Break… in my own little world, oblivious. I can’t say I wasn’t disgusted with myself.

So after while, the room being crowded enough, we leave the bedroom for the lounge to make space for other’s who want to come in.  As I walk into the lounge, I notice that it’s filled mostly with women and this makes me a bit weary… and this lady then tells my wife to tell me that the men are on the balcony.

So I walk to the balcony and there are three guys sitting at the far end, one smoking a cigarette.  As I approached, they each momentarily (a fraction of a second) lift their eyes to notice me but without any acknowledgment not even a slight nod of the head. No greetings, so I stand there uncomfortable and ignored which makes me both embarassed and extremely irritated because my head’s still reeling from what I’ve seen in the room just next to where I’m standing.  Standing there, not disturbing their conversation, which is focused on the very important topic of what exactly constitutes an occasional smoker.  I felt like I was in a scene from Bret Easton Ellis’s American Psycho. What the hell is wrong with these people?

This really irked me as my head was still spinning from I had witnessed a moment ago and from feeling death so close (in time and space.)

So I just left and headed next door to my place, head still spinning, mouth still moving in prayer. And the last thing I remember before falling asleep was how death can come at any time for some as slow as cancer and others in fractions of a second.  Have I prepared for it? Has my life been lived to achieve my purpose on earth? Was I even close? Am I close?  I could die tomorrow or in the next couple of minutes and not know if my life had made the slightest positive difference to anyone.

I lay my head down and close my eyes.  I see a picture of Aunty Zuleikha again, the same warm smile I had seen countless times… I fall asleep. In the morning I woke to cries coming from next door, She had lasted through the night but didn’t get to see a new day.

Technorati Tags: Death, Short Story

A Message You Don’t Want to See From Your Mum…

Technorati Tags: Mum, Message, Masturbation

On Politics…

If there is more than one person in a situation… there will be politics… the
only place there isn’t any politics with more than one person is between mother
and child.
People like playing games, and if you don’t push yourself
and be a little selfish in certain situations, you’ll be bulldozed by all the assholes who do… so
get there first. Work your ass off. Make an impression. Be the best you can be otherwise someone who can fake it better than you can actually do it will get there first.
Technorati Tags: Politics

Marketing Marriage

The Price is high, hence the Packaging and the Product needs to be worth it.
Promotion is up to you.  Positioning also plays a very important role.

P.S.  This is for all you singles that are looking… *nudge* *nudge*

Technorati Tags: Marketing Marriage

The Marriage Conundrum.

Right. I’m gonna go out on a limb here.

I sincerely belive that most marriage problems either occur or can’t be solved because of two things.

1. Lack of Knowledge
2. Lack of Communication (or communication of poor quality)

and, btw… lack of knowledge isn’t a cop-out element, because as with most things.. if you don’t know what the problem is, how can you solve it… right?

Secondly, Lack of communication is a big “Duh…” when it comes to marriage problems, but so many people just don’t do it.

Word.

That’s my two cents on an aspect of life.

Peace,
M.

Technorati Tags: Marriage, Life

Old Stories and My Stories.

Our Elders… more specifically, the old women, the overworked mothers of the previous generation, whose strife shows on their faces today. I’m only mentioning this because I went to visit my grandmother last night, my only living grandparent at the moment and a very sweet old lady :) She was with one of her childhood friends who was equally entertaining… going on with stories about how she was in the kitchen since she was 9 years old… how her mother and her siblings used to work in the kitchen everyday becuase they had to cook for like 40 people living under the same roof… and not just any chow.. it was fresh roti’s every single day and Alloo Fry (Fried Potatoes) and some other equally yummy foodstuff. the stories were very entertaining, told with all the gusto of a woman in nostalgia, makes them all the more lovable, even though they’re so vulnerable at that old age.

On a weirder note… I was served at Steers by a waitress named “Duh”. How can her parents be so cruel? Unless I’m being ignorant and “Duh” actually means something in one of our 11 official languages, which it probably does and I probably am being ignorant… but it was funny anyhow, since it did catch me by surprise.

I am trying to focus nowadays on more important things though… trying to prioritise… what the hell is most important to me and how do I go about achieving it. I spent a lot of time now finishing some episodes of my favourite series, Prison Break. Now that’s done, I think I really need to DO something, time for me stagnating with non-essential meanderings in life is just not worth it anymore.

If I always do what I always did, I’ll always get what I always got, and I freakin HATE what I always got… shit’s got to change, FAST.

I got a radio show booked on Radio Al-Ansaar called “Wired” and I am focusing on Jacking up all the internet hooked people in KZN with some knowledge on Tools, Trends and Islam on the Internet. Let’s hope somebody gets some inspiration. Word. Obviously I’m also gonna be focusing on Blogging and maybe call a few blogger friends on the show to share their experiences.

Alright… today’s clean-up day at work, so I better get at it. I have So much junk on my desk it’s beginning to get embarrassing.

Peace,

M.

Marriage

Alpacone’s Sunburnt Marshmallows.

I freakin hate Monday’s. I’m all bug-eyed, the coffee’s just not good enough, the work’s making me nauseus. Okay, enough complaining… the point of this post is the Weekend, why anyone else would care about my weekend I don’t know… but here it is.

Saturday was the usual shopping run-around, the only worthwhile trip I remember was the library. any how Saturday night was Braai- night at Aunt-in-Law’s place ‘cos it was once in a long time that the entire family was there.

One of the boys just came back from a trip to Rome, Italy, I was so jealous when he was taking us through the details of the trip, now I really want to visit the place. Also, one ofthe other bro’s is going on course with his company for training.. and get this.. he’s going to Chicago, London, Prague and Krakow… Lucky Bastard… I’d like a trip to check out the Big Windy City, Big Ben and the place famous for suicidal novelists. But it was all good and it all ended with Barbecued (Braai-ed in Afrikaans) Marshmallows dipped in Fresh Cream. YuM!

Sunday had its typical brilliance of relaxation… Big Family breakfast, and after… taking advantage of the Ever-evasive Sunshine, went to the beach for about an hour and a half, chilled at home for a while and decided to go the wharf just for a walk, and whatever with the wife… had some really good Falafel and I just loved the name of the Ice cream place… Al Pacones! Haha… Now you can see where my dire need to diet is coming from… too much of a good thing yadda yadda yadda.

And then the after-effects hit me on Monday morning when a hot shower alerts me to the fact that I was sunburnt (eina!) and also had bags under my eyes ‘cos I spent the night watching L4yer Cake cos I couldn’t sleep for some odd reason. The movie was cool though, something about how you just can’t escape your fate, you will reap what you sow… that and also that the Drug trade is like Hotel California “You can check-out any time you like, But you can never leave!” :)

Peace,

M.

Work & Babies.

Came across two newly born kids in the last week, two boys, unbelievably cute :) Making me rethink my stance of having kids later… (no no no, you still got some plans ahead Muhammad, hold that thought)

Here they are…

No, I did not make Little Yusuf Cry… he was hungry (or so i was told) and here’s another little cute kid… hover over the pic for details :)

Right… enough of the babies :)

Work’s got me going too, if anybody can tell me how to get my colleagues in Egypt to answer their phones and reply to message, please let me know… trying to do Marketing across an entire region is as bad as having a 2kg yoghurt enema at a siberian health spa. Aaargh.

Oh and my favourite work quote this week… “The project is a bit complicated due to all the simplification.”

Sounds like something from Dilbert, eh? Oh and I got a new Boss, had a big lunch thing after Jummah on Friday in which I went all aout ordering Sushi (I Love Sushi!) and a Kingclip and Prawns main course. (yUM!) This is making me wonder how I survived during Ramadaan… oi, I miss Ramadaan :( I need to get my ass back into gear, because I feel like I’m so close to being a hypocrite mainly because of the difference I saw in myself in Ramadaan and what I’m slowly becoming now. Insha-Allah this will change, I need to make solid effort!
Make Dua!

Wasalaams :)

Muhammad.

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