Friend

Where were they when you was walking through the dark path of sorrow and unhealthy self-flagellation for your failures? The ones who laughed with you way back when you were at primary school, at high school and at university. The ones who rode the tide across the happy days, sucking on the smiles.

And now when the darkness has come, after the glory days… when you hit that hard wall of reality and suddenly nobody’s smiling because nobody’s there. Except you, and you’re not smiling either. All you see is this mountain to climb, a long road ahead with little provision. All you have is you.

Does it make you wonder then, that your REAL friends, even those who did help a little, could only go so far… does it not make you wonder at the fabric of your life? Cloth stitched with decision after decision and it’s all up to you. You, alone, can take the action necessary and you alone should accept the consequences, the responsibility. Accept it. Take the first step up that mountain, on that lonely road.  The others, the ‘friends’, will follow you. But you have to lead yourself, and eventually them too, to the sunlit path of smiles and laughter.

You, are ultimately your only friend.

Recognise.

We Will Not Go Down – Michael Heart

This song continues to inspire me… Michael Heart’s "We Will Not Go Down" www.michaelheart.com

Irreconcilable Differences

The Judge walks in and everybody instinctively rises. I suddenly feel like I’m back in primary school and you had to stand every time a teacher or the principal came into the class and greet them loudly, unquestioningly. I know it’s a matter of respect and it does have its place but I have this innate problem with authority, especially authority which enforces rituals instituted by archaic social conventions.

So I grudgingly stand as the judge, a very chubby man of about 50 years old, walks to his seat. His impossible to hide double-chin depresses as he lifts his head from his notes and calls the first divorce case for the day, “Case two-oh-three-four, two thousand and seven, Mr James and Ms Jackson.”

The lawyers constantly refer to the Judge as “Your worship…” which irritates me again but I’m just an observer here. They bow as they leave the room, the judge doesn’t notice this at all and this indicates to me how ingrained the behaviour is amongst lawyers and people in general. Is this part of the curriculum at law school? “Etiquette and behaviour in court” or something similar? I wonder…

No doubt, social convention has its place. The masses are fucking idiots… just look at the lyrical content of the top 40 hit countdown and suddenly social conventions to keep people in line and instil some sort of structure makes sense. But then again, it’s the same system purveying the culture of self-gratification and delusion anyway. Which is why, from an overall perspective, the whole thing grates against my being.

Yes we need some form of authority and structure, but I reserve my right to question it and wholeheartedly disagree with it.