Embracing Hunger
Do you recognise that feeling when you’re embraced in your work ethic, trudging through paperwork, tapping the beige pond of the keyboard… and then it tugs at you, that perceptible tug, pulling but not really touching. You feel it inside you… right in your gut. Pure Lust. Hunger. That feeling which makes your mind stop. Suddenly Market Shares in Nigeria and the issues with the Turkish Supply chain don’t even compare to the picture of the Gigantic King Size Cheese Burger and a large Coke.
The temptation just doesn’t cease, and what seemed so easy in Ramadaan suddenly moves your feet for you, , you can hold conversations but your mind really isn’t there until you know that that King Size Cheese Burger is Dwelling in your tummy…
So it was that today, I had felt that familiar tug. Pure Lust. Hunger…
…and resisted… with all my might… and the thoughts in my head?
“This feeling… this is nothing, you’ve done it before, you can do it again.”
Feeling gets even stronger, I can’t concentrate on my meeting… I see these people but the words just aren’t getting through… I get hit with the words “Muhammad, what do you think?” and I’m dumbstruck… “Wha?”
“For fuck sakes, what the hell is this thing… surely I can’t be that hungry for this shit to affect my perception like this…”
“I’m sorry I was distracted, what were you referring to?”
 ”Right… Hunger, Lust, Whatever the fuck (you notice I swear alot when I talk to myself) you are… I’m not giving in to you…so Fuck off.”
Suddenly, the feeling fades… like it usually does in Ramadaan, you get so hungry the feeling just gives up. anyhow, the scene plays out like something from V for Vendetta. I just wonder if other people go through this “Battle with the Self”… I’m sure it happens in other contexts as well… like just After Ramadaan I get back to the office and being faced with two bumper editions of FHM and GQ… dillemma, dillemma… to read or not to read… could it really be called reading? Ogling, maybe?
Either way, Jihad must take place and Jihad-un-Nafs (The Struggle against the Self) is the greatest man will ever face… Resistance doesn’t just occure with stones at Tanks and Molotov Cocktails and Kaleshnikovs… it starts right in your gut, and if you can’t master that… you don’t really have the right to go about resisting anything greater, because you will lose.
The fight goes on…
Peace,
M.
fighting fournos as we speak…
I can’t wait to get to Johannesburg this weekend.
I will try to fight the Steers and Nando’s temptation.
And the Akhalwaya’s AK-47…I shall try!
(But don’t titter at me if you find me hiding in a corner, hood over the eyes, munching on a toasted steak special :P)
I Think Akhalwaya’s is exempt from this jihad… especially for Johannesburg Expats like myself… any trip to JHB is unfulfilled without a WITS special between the teeth :)
Word.
M.
Congrats on beating the craving. Last few weeks I’ve found myself teetiring on the brink of it once more – telling myself I can have that one chocolate, then get back to work…it’ll be my incentive to actually get going again.
But I know that its more out of habit – its a bad habit I developed over the last few months before Ramadaan; and it seems it came back – in full effect – so soon after.
Its all in the mind, you’re right. The Struggle against the Self is the biggest fight we’ll ever face. And you need sooo much strength, patience and perseverance in these things – battle after battle; it can be draining – and you need other things to support you in that, psychologically. Whether its people, pastimes, whatever the case may be…I think the key to beating cravings like that is putting your mind on something else, something else that’ll hold your attention and make you forget about what you think you need.
Unfortunately for me, if its at work, I find my options rather limited – and anyway, I’d be doing another wrong if I go and chat for half an hour, or dissapear for a really long time – because work is for work, and thats what you’re supposed to be doing there. (Although, I’ve come to the conclusion that we can’t stick to rigid time periods – because that just isn’t natural)
Anyway, its actually quite a contrast – when you have your days feeling like that; but in that same week you keep fast for a day or 2. And on the days you’re fasting, you see that those cravings – that lust – really isn’t so strong. It attacks when it gets the chance…so I guess our best hope is to take pre-emptive measures; put things in place so that we won’t be so quick to take the cravings seriously.
I think I’ve got my cravings covered. When I arrived in Egypt bird flu had just hit. In my first month I suffered withdrawal symptoms from mxit to chicken. Then they passed.
With 59 hours to go b4 I land on SA soil, Im thinnking Nandos pita at airport, Akhals polony special, Mochachos CB special & just a good, plain ol’ chip roll & toasted cheese. Toasted sarmies are not to be found anywhere in the Middle East!
Earlier u mentnd felafel=I’ve seriously OD’d on felafel & shwarma.
Go on Mak-beat the craving-u can do it!