We’re smack bang in the middle of Holiday Season. Which means we’re going to be interacting with a lot of family and friends… and we don’t agree with some of them on a few things. Thing is, how do we avoid the awkward spiral of…
“No! I’m right!”
“I Hate you!”
“We only invited you ‘cos Mom said so. Everybody hates you. Even the dog.”
*bangs mug on table*
Cue awkward family reactions, some picking sides, some apathetic. Holiday Ruined.
So, since this is my blog, I’m going to write up how I kind of deal with these situations and a lot of it is mindset.
1. Don’t be an asshole – By this I mean, stick to the argument. No ad hominem attacks, even if they are really ugly and stupid, don’t do it. Be focused on what you’re trying to get across or understand.
2. Know Your Logical Fallacies – related to ad hominem attacks above… brush up on all the Logical Fallacies. Train yourself to get your thinking right (never a wasted pursuit).
3. Focus on understanding rather than being right – You’re a human being. You’re occasionally wrong. So, in an argument, the best way to always proceed is to get the person you’re arguing with to explain their position and you focus on listening and trying to understand their perspective. This also means you have to get used to admitting you’re wrong if you do have the wrong end of the stick.
4. Pay attention to who you’re arguing with – Please don’t try and persuade someone the of some strongly held opinion of yours in an area where they have expertise e.g. arguing about chemotherapy with an oncologist. Recognise when you’re out of your depth and don’t argue at all. Smile and nod.
That’s it. The above guides me when I’m confronted in any way or form with this type of situation.
I hope it’s helpful.